Wednesday, 6 November 2013

More ill than usual.

I have lots of topics I want to write about but this past week or longer, I can't tell as time blurs together for me, my migraines have been much worse. Normally my head pain feels like my head is being crushed in a vice everyday, all day. A mixture of painkillers, icepacks, silence and darkness to keep the pain tolerable. However lately the pain has been spiking to a level where it feels as if something is inside my skull trying to burst out violently. If you've ever seen the "Aliens" film think the scene where they burst from peoples chests but then instead imagine them bursting from my skull. The pain was so excruciating I almost went to the hospital in desperation for some pain relief. Even if they had to induce coma. I was nearing my limit. Then slowly it settled back into my regular level of pain.
This is why I haven't written anything lately despite wanting to. Either too incoherent with pain or partially unconscious.

I will write about employment and mental health issues like I promised in my last post but also I recently watched the film "The Bridge" about the Golden Gate bridge and it's attraction for people who are suicidal. So I will talk about that as well, suicide, motivations for it, sensory over load, disconnection from reality and many other topics. I'll have to keep a list as I keep forgetting them because of the pain and the side effects of the medication.

Now I will go pass out again. Maybe I can sleep off some of the pain.